My Clingy Girlfriend.

 

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Men would go yikes on simply listening to the name of the book, and would madly run away, far and farther and the farthest they can go, to avoid even the  manifestation of their own so-called clingy girlfriends cling to them even when all they want to do is just casually read a book.

Women. Some would get furious and lash out as they might believe they cannot be pigeonholed into a stupid stereotype and others, the breathing-down-the-neck-of-your-boyfriend-every-nanosecond types, well, they would still lash out, though secretively agreeing that they perfectly fit into this domain !

But, take note here. Don’t frame your opinions just based on its name. This book is “not” about the mess of a man’s life, written monotonously with a drab and depressing tone.

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This book is a big-time rollickingly gut-busting account of a simple Bengali boy who flocks to Mumbai to make some good money but there unfortunately (and fortunately) gets adhered to his  “clingy” girlfriend who clings on and on and on to him, smothering his life.

With a lot of side-splitting humour and some ridiculously funny punchline smeared across its pages it is a sure-fire recipe for some light-hearted chuckles, if not full-blown hysteria, all the time. With the smooth narrative, you will find yourself on the last page of the book in a jiffy! With a wry smile on your lips, ofcourse.

The stark irony of the entire writing is that it is narrated with a man’s point of view but is actually written by a woman. Honestly, as I picked up this book and read the remark it entails on its cover page, I could not totally buy it that a woman can give a take on relationships from a man’s point of view! But Madhuri Banerjee has really delved deep into a man’s conscience and successfully carved out a perfect portrait of a man’s psychology. At no point spanning these 249 pages, did I feel that I was reading a female author.

My Clingy Girlfriend – Synopsis

A Bengali boy finds a Punjabi girlfriend who both have different ideas, different ideals and different ways. (No. Don’t perceive it as the clichéd storyline designed specifically for a typical Bollywood movie, it is not about the families from two opposite cultures being pitted against each other. ) The book infact is lot more generic and strives to paint a general picture in our head. About two different sexes that has been portrayed in this comical read!

You secretly empathise with Obrokranti for putting up with his impatient, precarious, over-possessive, giving-irrelevant-excuses, throwing-silly-tantrums, mind-numbingly clingy and annoying, pain-in-the-ass girlfriend, Radha, who simply cannot work to live on her own and is banking on Obro for all her financial, emotional and physical needs and somehow still manages to put him at fault at all times of day and night.

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Sometimes you also hate Obro for just having sex in his mind for most of the times. Obro’s mentality is astounding in all respects.

This is not a simple love story. This book is about a complex relationship. That’s the beauty of this book. That’s what makes the story so tangible and distinct.

Positive points

What is so remarkably amusing is the whole Bengali feel the main character tags along with him. Well, the Bongs will easily relate to all of the precious pearls of knowledge he dishes out all the time about what Bengali men need and what Bengali men love. For the rest of the culturati, it is a great insight into the heart and soul of a very prominent culture in India.

The “Notes For Dummies” Obro ends up writing most of the times, can prove just as useful to men as calling up your girlfriend every hour (yes, I too think it sounds hyperbolized).These are some alluring guideways to sneak up on the secrets to the “success” that can only be defined and understood by a man. So click them, print them or frame them, just brush them up regularly to not repeat Obro’s mistakes and to live a happier life, before a clingy girlfriend eventually, asphyxiates it.

Madhuri Banerjee does not mince her words while outlaying the story .The brutally honest and straightforward endeavour will make you fall in love with this terrifically fierce and powerful writing, embellished with words which are bare, stark and true. Not honeycoated to be fed softly into the readers’ minds.

She has sketched lively and dainty characters that resonate with the trending Indian lifestyle and times. The characterization is so emphatic that the important message of having a personal space in a relationship that she tries to send across is received very aptly.

An overly-protective Indian mother who showers her son with too much care and concern, a boyfriend who respects women (though secretly wishing to score with as many girls as he can), a girlfriend who just cannot stop cribbing, a good-for-nothing boss, a cigarette buddy, a mentoring sister, a stupidly competitive brother and a gay-but-not-so-gay head, all put together make for this intriguing cocktail of cackles and giggles that will make you laugh, think, feel and stop and deliberate at different points. 😉

Negative points

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While Obrokranti reflects a sensible and diligent 20-something guy who wants acknowledgeable things from his life,his girlfriend Radha has been caricatured as a psychopathic maniac who seamlessly raves and rants with her insecurity and does not deter from giving 40 missed calls to his boyfriend within a single hour.
So her character feels somewhat overstated and cooked-up,not even slightyly attune with the reality of the times.FOR MOST WOMEN.So I think a little more justice to her character could have won a thumbs-up from all ladies.

Memorable quotes from My Clingy Girlfriend  ❤

 All Bengali moms think their sons are Jesus Christ and they themselves are the Virgin Mary.

 

This is the so-called fun part of my job known as ‘brain storming’. AKA ‘mental masturbation’.

 

Great insight- I always behave badly for four days every month. Every month. Period.

 

Women count the seconds while you’re away. Men count the days to be away.

 

I didn’t tell them then my secret desire was to go to Mumbai. The land of voluptuous women who wouldn’t have a problem if I stood close to them, because there is simply no space in Mumbai to stand at all anyway.

 

The time taken to have an orgasm is inversely proportional to the time taken to beg the women to be ready.

 

The good day must have happened when the final over of an India-Pakistan match was on and the entire country was watching TV while you and some chutiya were trying to see if you could reach the place in twenty minutes.

 

Yes, I did remember what she had done to me. But I also remembered what she had done for me.

Excerpt from My Clingy Girlfriend

In such a situation, a man would rather just finish his meal than make a run for it. I saw Radha walk towards me in slow motion-like the slow motion run that women did in all SRK movies, with him standing with his arms wide open to let them know they needed a point to stop at-and my balls split wide open. Instead of stepping back from the food and making a run for it, my super- brain decided that this could be the last meal I would have and I quickly gobbled up some four-five large bites of food before she got to the table. I finally looked up at her and she was glaring down at me.

My colleagues didn’t even glance at us. Bastards were too busy eating to notice if one of their own was getting murdered. I could see the fumes coming out of Radha’s ears. I quietly licked my fingers, walked to the wash basin to was my hands and followed her outside the restaurant. Only then did one colleague raise his head. ‘Eh, at least give money for your portion, bastard,’he said. Asshole. Didn’t he see that I hadn’t even made out a will yet, and this would be the last meal of my life? But since I had no Facebook friends left, I thought it would be wise to have a few colleagues on my side. So I put a few hundred buck notes on the table and left.

From its cover page, the book might be dismissed as another infernally monotonic tale of contemporary Indian love stories. The name might seem to sum up its story and kill the suspense quotient but clearly, after reading it I am convinced, that it is not just another disappointing cliche. The story has its own interesting ups and downs and is sure to keep you hooked from page 1.

Entwined with loads of quick-witted humour and words of wisdom, apparently, this book will leave you in splits and make your day (probably even month)!

Read the complete review here.

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