One-night stand.Seamless.Casual.Passionate.Freaky.No strings attached.No commitments.No feelings. Plain S.E.X.
Sounds like heaven,doesn’t it?Now wait before you smirk fella,because it ain’t easy to sail that boat.There are “always” feelings involved and one person is vulnerable to get “hurt” and feeling “used”.Awkward,eh? What’s so heavenly about that now?!
Yet it is not totally impossible to nail the act,if you follow all the right steps and can successfully tick them off your list when you are through the process. So,here’s all what you need to know before you hop into the world of nonchalant sex!
1. KEEP IT CLEAN AND PREEN,ATLEAST “THAT ONE” DAY.
Your apartment,that is.It won’t kill you,alright? And it won’t kill your time either.What it could actually kill is the titillating prospect of sex that you are going to have that night.There. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than the sleazy sight of your shoes drooling on the floor and your dirty boxers hugging your sofa and all those pizza boxes…meh!And that is enough to set her thinking about the weird life-form growing in your bathroom tub.Eeeekkk..squirm.She would leave before you could make her feel more squeamish(if that is possible!).And there goes your one-night stand in the dumps,yet again!
2. LIMIT THE BOOZE.
If you’ve already landed a cute girl who wants to go down that road with you in her sufficiently sober mind,then you really don’t need to drink that last shot of magical hooch,for a quick boost to go on that crazy spree. Chances are it might rather meddle with your nerves too much and you wouldn’t bother to use the protection. Which can turn into a big disaster for the remaining days of your life. Or you might be too sloshed to even perform very well,in the forthcoming time.(Duh! Sexually,that is!).
3. RESPECT HER DECISION.
Yes,she is totally drunk and overtanked and hazy and doped…but all that doesn’t give you a right to sleep with her.Even if she says yes to hitting the sack with you for the night,make sure she is saying that with a sane mind and a sober thought.Ask her again(although you wouldn’t want to,lest she puts it off the table!).But don’t be a pervert.Respect the woman.Don’t be too covetous for a little-fun-night, to neglect what she really wants. You are not that shallow,are you?
4. DON’T PUSH YOUR LIMITS.(OR HERS,FOR THE MATTER.)
Be quirky.Be kinky.But don’t be downright whimsical! The sheer beauty of a one-night stand lies in the fact that it renders you free to make all your crazy fantasies come real. Try out what you have always wished to. But. (Yes,there’s always a “But”!)Don’t push it over-the-top. I mean,you just met the girl a few hours ago,what do you expect her to do!! Communicate well,and try out only what is comfortable(for both!)and keep the rest of your fanciful ideas bottled down for now.Or forever.Whatever!
5. DON’T SHOW FAKE SYMPATHY.
Believe it or not,when the girl says she’s in for “it”,it really means she’s in for “it”. Only.So,you don’t actually need to ask for her number to make her feel you would call,when it is transparent that you wouldn’t. Neither does she need you to. Actually,she wouldn’t need you to, if you wouldn’t get her emotionally attached in the first place!“Oooh..Your dog died? I’m sooo sorry…You are an amazing person…You remind me of my Grandma..I’ll ping you for dinner,later..“Ugh! She doesn’t need all that bullshit you feed her.And Grandma?Seriously?
6. SAY “NO” TO SNAPS.
Abide by this one,very sincerely.Do not click her pictures while she’s getting dressed,just to be a showoff infront of your friends.You might end up looking like a complete schmuck instead!That girl is not your personal toy and you do not possess any right to fiddle around with her self-respect and dignity,in the society.So,gather up and be a man,not a prick!
7. STAY THE NIGHT
Don’t wriggle out of her bed for hitting the road at 2 a.m.,in the night.I mean, c’mon ,she’s not going to put a gun to your head the next morning and force you to marry her(Scary,eh?).But you and her both know why you complied to get in the bed together in the first place,and the scary part is not what that was for! So,if you bail on her like that, it makes her feel like a useless throwaway and puts you on her list of “the-top-10-assholes-in-the-world”! So stay the night and save her(and yourself) the embarrassment.
8. BUT DO NOT OVERSTAY…
Yes, you had a fun time and you might want it all again the next morning,but wait before you let your craving take the plunge.In the warm and soothing light of the day,the haziness has lifted off and chances are she might not even find you attractive for a make out.(Just a possibility!What’s with the frown! God!)
So try holding her hands and kissing her on the cheek and if that doesn’t turn her on,save yourself some dignity,bid adieu and slip rightaway.(No,don’t even bother asking about the breakfast!)
P.S. : Don’t end it too oddly.Manage a smile or two and a “Last night was great.Thanks for the nice memories!”,lest you happen to bump into each other sometime again.And “may be”,there’s a teeny-tiny possibility there that it could blossom into something great,instead. Just saying.