If only you knew.

If only I could tell you,
If only you knew.

How even my shadow claws its way out of my embrace and follows your silhouette instead.

How, when i get mad at you and shout and fuck up, I strangely don’t know what to do with myself for the next 48 hours until you return showering the same old hugs and vows all over me again.

How I rip apart every shred of my own existence to fall away, piece-by-piece, with you, into this golden high called love.

How every part of my shambles is so haphazard and yet you manage to somehow draw my caricature so precise and while I stand there astounded,trying to sink in the perfection , you go a step ahead and fill it in with all the right pencil colours.

How you and I do not fit in and with every passing moment that I spend with you, I give a part of myself away to melt into you.

But then I realize you do the exact same thing and the magic it creates bombards our lives with all the exploding colors of happiness I can ever imagine.

How you and I create a paradoxical world together, where, some days we just go nuts and burst into a fit of giggles together while on some, we are just grumpy, but never forget to nurse each others’ woes somehow.

How sometimes I wonder I just ink nonsense onto some blank pages but then i read it, and it all comes back ringing sense to me in every single word etched.

If only I could tell you,
How it is not so calm and easy, being with you.
And yet my world is so calm and so much more easier ,with you being around.

 

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For You, With Love.

You are the effervescence buzzing out of a cola can, spreading bubbles of happiness wherever you go.

You are like the gooey chewing gum, you are sticky,  and when you meet someone, a piece of you remains with them even as you walk away.

You are the sweetness ingrained in a pink cotton candy, only if you took off that wrapper of yours, barring you away from people, you would know.

Sometimes you are the warm sunshine peeking through the glass, sometimes you are the icy droplets of dew that sheath the greens at the crack of dawn.

You are the orange, you are the red, you are all those colors that light up the morning sky, a dazzling gold.

You are flawed and yet your flaws tell their own stories and a story is engaging and fun , so your flaws are your most prized possessions.

You have been through so much, that your struggles give you an unfair advantage over the ones who have not yet strived. You have endured through the trenches, but you wear your scars as a badge of honour, not as cries reeking of shame, shrieking for sympathy.

You are the kid on the roof, flying his kite, making it hover as high as he can, wondering if it could make it across the wind and the planes, to the space, to the stars.

You are the ink blotted on yellow, weaving words into poetry, as pearls get beaded into garlands.

You are the crimson on a bride’s forehead, you are the pecks and kisses with which a mum cradles her baby to sleep, you are love, you are grace, you have the power to embrace.

Filter out the noise of the world and you become the voice that has been strumming in your head ,since forever.

You are the mica shimmering in the sand, you are the rose beheld inside the pages of a favourite book, you are the butterfly dancing in the rain.

You are a candle. Don’t just melt away in others’ heat, go burn in your own light.

You are mightier than the rock, which cracks under rain, but you, you can weather all storms.

You might feel down and out, at times. Or most of the time. But remember, you are a ship, not sunk yet.

Do not give in. You are a gorgeous rainbow and you yourself can bleed colours of happiness in your messy world.

The time is now, the time is yours. Live through it all. You might as well change the times, one day.

 

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To the world and all that it has got to ask me to abide by, I refuse.

Tu ladki hai! You are a girl.”, they say, every single time I turn up home post eight, in the evening.

Tu ladki hai ! ”, they say, everytime I step outside to buy a recharge coupon or an AloeVera gel from the neighbourhood store, after nine.

Tu ladki hai ! ”, they say, each time I put on a Whatsapp dp with one of my male friends.

Hmmmm.

Even before all this cliched rant of “Tu ladki hai! ”, begins to usurp most of my senses, I sense that something here does not make sense. At all.

Question 1 :  Why do you keep reaffirming my gender to me, time and again, at each and every step of my daily routine?

Question 2: Why do you not reaffirm their respective gender to your sons and tell him,“Tu ladka hai. ”?

It is your goddamn duty to respect women.

Sounds legit, anyone?

A few months back, I was interning with a startup and had been added to a group on Whatsapp, where all my colleagues were also its members. So everyone had access to everyone’s phone number, but since it was a reputed company and the talk was mostly professional, it was okay. Later as the internship came to an end, I left the group. Makes sense.

A few days back, I got this text from an unknown number.

 

Now, whose mistake do you think it is really? A pervert feels it is okay to send borderline creepy texts to a random stranger( or worse, stalk them and text them intentionally).

But is it really okay?

To be honest, somewhere, it all boils down to our upbringing. The fault is not in her timings by when to get home, not in the dress she wears, not in the dp she flaunts, it is in the values you imbue in your sons. The problem germinates at home itself. Ever since birth, a weird thought is embedded in a boy’s mind. He is a boy, he will be unconditionally favoured. Literally everytime, everywhere. And I can totally claim that I have witnessed this happen within my own network of family and relatives. Sadly, I am not proud  to claim that.

They  :  If you do not know how to cook, later when you get married, you will face a lot of problems. You will be considered a misfit, a terrible failure, a bad homemaker.

Me  : But why? Why does not knowing how to cook make me look so terrible?

They  : Because a woman is supposed to know how to cook.

Me  : But why?

They  : Because that’s what she does.

Isn’t it sad that we live in a society which is full of such bullshit preconceived notions, where the fate of a woman is determined by her culinary skills ?

Me  : Oh. But why is it so that she does  that? What if she doesn’t do  that? Why is it not so that she should know how to cook because cooking is great, therapeutic, awesome. And even if she doesn’t find it that lucrative ( 😛 ), it is still a useful skill anyway, worthy of acquiring in life.

They  : Oh..yes.. That’s what I was trying to say. That’s why you need to master it.

Me : But if it such a wonderful skill, reeking of creativity and happiness and fulfilment ( think you could cook a pizza when you crave it :P… But then again you could just order anyway 😛 …Never mind, the point is..)why should it be a prerogative of women only? If the chef in a highly-acclaimed restaurant is a man, would you still say,“Oh, he’s doing it because he’s supposed to do it!”. Or would you be like,“ Wow, he’s following his passion and he’s sooo good at it! ”.

The latter, I guess.

And we are doomed with hypocrisy.  😦

Let me tell you a story. My story. It happened to me a few months back. I and a few of my friends (read: boys ) got drunk at our college fest, and before we could even anticipate what could happen next, I passed out. Period.

They were TERRIFIED as none of our parents knew (read : would support ) that we had been drinking. We were on a scooty and a bike and we kept circling around Dwarka ( or as I was told the next morning) until they brought me home around 12. They left by 2. Or so. I admit, it was a terrible fuck-up and unfortunately they had to bear the brunt of my mom and my dad and my aunt and my sister and my brother and my neighbour…yeah…you got the point.

Still, they brought me HOME, SAFE . And that is the best worst-case scenario possible, isn’t it?

So what I want to say is, not all men can be viewed in the same light. Some are really good and caring and helpful and since I know this from my personal experience, I can vouch for it.(And if you are reading this, I want to tell you I am lucky to have you guys in my life.  🙂 )

But then, THIS happened.

Me :  woke up next morning

faced the agony of my family

got holed up inside my room to cool off

called up my boyfriend ( Yes, I had a boyfriend then. No, you are not supposed to share this confidential piece of information with my family or even “dooor-ke-rishtedaar” as they all are kind of conservative!

narrated the entire incident to him

expected he would be shocked, angry, upset, glad and thankful in the same order

Turned out, he already knew about it ( how? That’s a tale for some other night!). So he was not shocked, not angry, but upset and kind of sweet too, “ Don’t you worry, I am WITH YOU.

Surprisingly, he was not thankful. To them .

Me  : But why?

He  : “Tu ladki hai.”

Meanwhile, me  in my mind : WTF

He : “They might be nice people but you can’t really trust anyone with such a situation.”

Me in my mind : *Gasps* followed by a ‘WTF’

Okay, so, seriously, how many times will I have to acknowledge the fact that I belong to the feminine gender? Does this imply that any friends I have, of the opposite sex, would not qualify to genuinely help me in such ugly situations? Is every other man just a demon, ready to devour women, at the first opportunity?

And I am not naive. I know the reality of our times. The rape and torture and murder cases victimizing women are all over the news, everyday, and I am not blind to not see them. But not every man you have in your life is a potential threat, is he? Some are simply real gems to have. And I am grateful to have them. And I wish you have them in your lives too.

And how shall we make that possible?

By propagating the right thinking. In the right direction.

I want both men and women to shine equally. To stand on the same podium, and lead the world from there.

I AM A GIRL. And I do not want to be a secondary homo sapien, I do not want to be a subset of the species lying at the highest rung of the ecological pyramid. We are all ‘humans’, not a GIRL, not a BOY, not a bisexual (and the list goes on..) but a ‘human’. And I only want us to be just that, a ‘human’.

Is it that hard?

I am not asking you to tilt the tables in the favour of women. I am not asking you to DO any favour. I am humbly requesting you to go back home, revisit your roots, and re-examine your values. Ask yourself, “ Is there anything wrong with the kind of society we have built for ourselves? Are we screwed up in our mentality towards a sex that is equally and proportionately wonderful as the one that we worship above it?”

You will get the answer.

It might be a long way before we can correct all the flaws embedded deep within our traditional societal institutions, but we can still hope.

This might be a man’s world, but I am definite of building my own universe. 🙂

 

 

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the reason for hope, and a lot more.

I panic when we go about days, not talking to each other. Infact, “panic” is a more humble reiteration that only feebly manages to acquaint you with my plight. I go absolutely haywire when that happens. I cannot stand the distancing of people, the vacuum it carves out, then the void that follows. I told him all about my problem, about the queasiness of it. He grew tense. His face contorted , then a bit more, and then relaxed before he could start addressing the grimness of the situation.

I asked him if what we had would hold up forever, he said I could choose to believe it would. I told him I have been troubled by so many things lately, that my world is falling apart, he said I could build a universe in his arms nevertheless. I told him I have been pretty scared from all those apprehensions , he said I could bury my head in his chest and the fear would not dare to perch anywhere close. I told him that I get nightmares sometimes, that I wake up raw, dry and aghast; he said he would make me giggle so much that all the eternity shall be brimming over with my laughter, that all the creepiness shall creep away, the spookiness shall get spooked away. I asked him how he could be so sure that I was his soulmate, he told me he was not. He could not tell if he had found his soulmate in me, but he was definite that he had found his lost soul in me. I asked him if he would ever leave me and flee away, he said I was the smile he would write all his days off with.

I asked him if my constant questioning annoyed him, he said he loved me nevertheless , and in that fleeting moment , my world flipped upright.

Forever? Forever.

FOR THE LOVE OF WHISKEY.

When do we really stop loving someone?

Can we really stop loving someone?

I have always wondered, everything happens in such a hurry today. Quick, hasty declarations of what we believe to be true love. Goodbyes are said equally fast, followed by a few days of mourning. And then we find true love again. The concept of time is so delicately woven with our perception of love. None of us know what love really is, then how can we even attempt to grasp the concept of forever? So deceitful these words are. Forever, eternity, always. They sound so promising, so hopeful, almost borderline incarcerating. The romanticized notion of forever is what we all search for in our lives. Someone to spend our whole lives with, someone to share every moment with, someone to split our food with.

I’m not going to lie, I secretly want that too. In the midst…

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Cricket was the first ever sport that got me hooked.

Mix one portion of jubilance with three portions of warmth , stick them together beneath a gorgeously bubbly persona and you get a true carefree and cheerful Sardaar. To top it all, they possess an amazing innate sense of humor. You can always go to them for a nice little chitchat and be assured of emerging out euphoric. 😉

But what hugely sets them apart from the crowd is their staunch willpower. When their hearts are bent upon achieving certain milestones, the fiercely burning enthusiasm of these vaulting go-getters hardly ever fails to ebb out any sooner.

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Meet Gurkirat Singh Gill of NSIT, who is easily one of those fun-loving, happy-go-lucky people, but there’s something stellar about him that sets him really ahead of the curve.

Q. What have you been doing lately?

G: I have been busy,working on my website,EssentiallySports. It’s been almost 1.5 years since I started this project and today,I am  reaping fruits riper than I had ever imagined.

Q. Had you always known you would be a sports-blogger one day? Where did you get the impetus to start this thing and how did that idea or sheer imagination culminate in a successful blog today?

G: I never knew I would be doing sports-blogging. I had just begun trying my hand at writing and had (triumphantly 😛 ) created my own blog, Unofficial Life!

Then right on cue,one day I stumbled upon ES which had also kicked-off recently.I grabbed the opportunity and jumped in. The situation was ripe for growth. The team had 4 guys initially when I joined,and miles of hardwork and team-effort later, we are now a rock-solid team of 70 members working towards generating a powerful impact through sports-writing.

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Q. I see that your writings reflect the fervor and passion lingering through a tough game, mostly cricket,at times. What is the thing that makes you an ultimate cricket-fanatic above all?

G: Yes,cricket is the sport that always gets me enthused (over the top, sometimes..err…most of the times 😛 ), though I have written on chess, tennis and hockey as well.

My immense love for the game dates back to my childhood when cricket became the first ever sport that got me hooked. I remember I was seven years old and the 2003 World Cup was going on. Players like Sachin, Ganguly, Dravid and Kumble were stalwarts of the game, who would make me take over the TV remote at home and keep me glued to the screen for hours on end. Finally India cemented its place in the finals which made my interest levels soar and attain a new high!

The energy and excitement of the game is so terrific, it simply reels you in.

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Q. Do you also play cricket or just prefer to blog about the sport?

G: As much as I love the game,I currently indulge in only blogging. However I used to play cricket,and lots of it, when I was a kid. And not just that, but also love for Tennis, badminton, table tennis and football used to border on my fascination.

Q. Who is your favourite sportsperson, cutting across all sports?

G: Rahul Dravid, undoubtedly. The humility, the class and the style he exudes and the qualities that he portrays on-field are something that can only and only be his unique streaks. However, I am a big fan of Roger Federer and Sachin Tendulkar too, their gameplay is absolutely riveting.

Q.You love writing and you love cricket. Could you ever hope to choose one over the other?

G: Umm.. that’s a difficult one, because I never really want people to identify me with one thing or one profession. However, if I’d still have to name one identity, I would wish to be a ‘sports writer’ who strives to encourage a sporting environment in India, an environment in which parents encourage their children to participate in sports as much as they push when it comes to academics.

If you look closely, you will find some very unfortunate cases, where parents are walking all over the dreams of their kids, trampling them into murk, and such scenarios flip me out! Only you and I together can turn things around  by appreciating sports better and creating an environment conducive to growth.

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Q.You are pursuing engineering through NSIT. Do you have any special interests in that area?

G: No, engineering fails to entice me. Hive off engineering and you can always expect to find me rampantly involved in all the other areas. All of them. 😛

Apart from ES, I am a part of the media management society of the college, Crosslinks. I am also a member of the Tennis Club, and the Student Affairs Council. At Crosslinks, I am responsible for the Public Relations affairs of the society wherein I make sure that all the news and achievements of students get reported either in the print  or the electronic media.

Q. So I gather you took up writing in college. How did it all begin?

G: Initially I never had any plans for writing . Infact I had never even imagined myself writing. Then one fine day it just so happened that I scribbled down a little piece about Roger Federer and showed it to my peers. Banking on the humble appreciation that  I received, I dediced to take it a notch higher. And the rest is history. Now I am planning to expand my horizons and a few years down the line, I see myself writing about the social ills that ail our society.

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Q. Would you like to share any special memories from your college life that you deeply cherish and will always do?

G: At ES we have a team of around 70 people, spread across different parts of India. So we rarely meet each other. Fortunately,I got the chance to meet a few members of the team for the very first time when we took part in a B-plan competition in Indore. Though we had never seen each other before, it felt like we had known each other since forever! It was an amazing fun! It was simply brilliant! 😀

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Q. What would be your magical moment, the one they say, the moment when all the dreams come true?

G: It’s hard to define “the” moment but I’ve got just this much to say, don’t get any surprised when you see me high up in the stands fiercely whipping out a strong commentary on…well…you got the cue. 😉

Q. What do you think this college has taught you in true measures of the value?

G :The whole college life has been a great learning experience (and will probably continue to be so ! :P), so it may sound unfair to single out one particular thing. But I suppose the  most precious takeaway would be:

Engineering will teach you everything you need to survive in life, except for maybe, engineering. 😛

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trim your diet and pimp up your plight.

Flipping through the placards carefully, before thumping them down on your fridge door,every  morning,to make it clear for the rest of the day,that which matters have a legal right to drive you crazy today(phew!) and which ones will be presumably dumped for yet another day(yay!),you may be missing out on a big one! So it’s time for some rearrangement and a crucial add-on in your today’s(and almost every other day’s!) to-attend-to list! Yes! A HEALTHY-DIET PLAN.

You might have most easily skipped on that one, partly because it is just too boring to follow and mostly because you think that it is a stupid and frail piece of paper which cannot devoid you of the power of going out and eating whatever you want!

So if you also think that you are the mighty king who rules his belly and decides what should go in and what should not,you might as well be a good one, by  following a complete and appropriate diet-chart!

(P.S. The healthy diet thing is also applicable to those who do not have that eerie belly-ruler fantasy!)

Now, before going gaga over what kind of ingredients you should positively add to your diet(to spike up the health quotient!) and what kind of ingredients you should totally steer clear of(because they are simply not healthy enough for you to gobble them up, every other day!),you need to learn to pick up the  healthy platter over the unhealthy one ,enough number of times that it slowly melts into a habit for life!!!

Here’s how you can breeze through the plan:

  1. TAKE BABY-STEPS RATHER THAN A BIG LEAP.

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Don’t go freak over completely changing your diet plan and switching every single food with a somewhat healthier version of it,with a hope of thinifying yourself with every calorie you cut in your diet! Chances are, you will soon lose interest in following  your overly-strict (and somewhat mean!)diet plan and would rather befriend your old practices of hopping on to whichever delicious piece you can get to lay your hands on!

That’s how your hitler-plan will end up in the murk, unless ofcourse you yourself are no less than a hitler and keep holding on to your commitment like a true devout, without a single drop of pity for your heart (which anyway falls for every other scrumptious dish infront of your eyes,without a fail!).

Brainwave? Go slow and score! First make sure you eat healthy atleast once in a day. And then slowly string up this number to two, then three, and eventually you will be eating healthy most of the time.

  1. LITTLE CHANGES GO A LONG WAY                           .Heart-Healthy-Foods

Infuse a seamless variety of different coloured vegetables in your diet by eking out your routine-meal with a veggie-salad everytime. Dodge butter and choose olive oil  instead for cooking a nice, healthy meal. Bypass sugary sodas at the parties for a subtle glass of sparkling water, with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice in it.

For once,give the luscious chocolate fondue a miss, and instead, feast on a slice of the rainbow from a bowl of colourful and juicy fruit-salad. Elude the heavily-creamy chocolate tart and plunge into an apple or pumpkin pie instead, if you still yearn for a treat.

This way,you can gorge on nutrients and satiate your taste buds at the same time!Win-win! But don’t take your focus off moderation, yet.

3.  GLUTTONY IS A SIN.

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Do not indulge in it. A simple way to state it :Eat only as much as your body needs. Frankly,you are equipped with the power of devouring an entire bucket of chicken, in just one sitting,all by yourself!But don’t yield to that power,under the spell of temptation! If you yet do it,then, skip the meals for the rest of the day.

(Or else,be ready to groan with the stomach ache later!Ugh!)

4. EAT SMART.

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Eat like a bird rather than like a horse.Do not over-stuff yourself and you won’t freak out before getting on a weighing machine,the next time.

5. SPRINKLE IT “AWAY”.

Life falls bland without a tinge of salt and spice added to it.But too much of anything is upto no good!

Cutting to the chase,the advice is,try to limit your sodium intake upto 1500-2300 mg per day. So the next time you find a big,fat packet of potato chips beaming at you on the street, simply sidestep it and evade the allure.

6.RED-ALERT.

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If you have a habit of waking upto the strong, mesmerising aroma of coffee everyday,it’s time to start watching your caffeine intake! Alarmingly!

Undeniably,coffee is just delectable(and you might be a fan of it!I CONFESS I AM!!) but it is addictive.And,the more the number of cups you are down,the faster are your  body’s calcium stores getting depleted! And sadly, that does not sound pretty.

  1. DON’T TAKE A CHILL PILL.

Find little colorful pills, promising you benefits of vital vitamins and anti-oxidants,more assuring,than going down the natural way?They are just so easy too! Simply pop up a pill and gulp it down your throat and magically, your nutritional needs are fulfilled in an instant! No need to stock up on a diverse variety of fruits and vegetables to get different unique vitamins essential for your body!Ha! Saves oodles of energy plus time!

But all that glitters is not gold. Research shows that pills won’t work out in the exact same way the natural thing does. So,heap up on plentitude of green lettuce and whole grains and oranges and almonds and well..you know…the natural stuff, ofcourse!

  1. SHARE YOUR FOOD.

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Be social.Call in your buddy to share your pizza with him, so that you don’t end up licking the plate clean entirely by yourself.This way,you can avoid the mindless overeating  plus the flak you would have garnered for it,had you plumped up a size by slurping it down,all by yourself!

  1. SAVOUR EVERY FLAVOUR.

Don’t rush through your eating. Chew food effectively and relish its taste. Basically,enjoy your food. Don’t just gulp it down!

  1. CHUCK EATING LATE IN THE NIGHTS.

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To put it straight: because it will just grossly fatten you up! Give your body enough break before a breakfast.

  1. SOME TIMES JUST CALL FOR HAPPY INDULGENCES.

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It is true that you are on a kind of healthy-diet plan and can’t afford to eat candies and cakes and patties,just yet. But,it is equally true that you are a human.

And humans have needs! And cravings. And desires.So cut yourself some slack once in a while and gorge on some bittersweet joys of life.

And this might help too. One little block of dark chocolate at the end of a week of a rigorous diet,will just serve as a token of reward for your present accomplishments and will  motivate you to carry on with your plan. With more zeal ofcourse! 😉

As the old saying goes, HEALTH IS WEALTH, so  dine healthier, shine wealthier. 🙂